Everything I So Desire

theprincessofletters:

exitpursuedbyasloth:

[HITS THE ‘BUY’ BUTTON LIKE THE FIST OF AN ANGRY GOD] - [X]

dean-has-a-wing-kink

universityofhyrule:

opheroth:

universityofhyrule:

SORRY I HAD TO POST THIS BEFORE GOING TO BED
HE LOOKS LIKE E.T. IN THIS PICTURE PLEASE SOMEONE PHOTOSHOP HIM INTO THE BIKE
but he also looks like some gangster omg

your wish is my command

OMG THANK YOU !!!!

zyzil:

princess-azula:

grapefruitshampoo:

imnotthereasonthatyoureinsane:

tephnos:

sirisles:

dixiesaurer:

aaronwarner-anderson:

mongezeas:

g0kudera:

sarahdesdemona:

ninth-level-of-awesome:

I love how Tumblr teaches us how to be perfect criminals.

Also, if you’re burying a full body, make sure you bury them vertically. Satellites orbiting earth look for holes that are approx. 6ft long because that’s suspicious. Ideally though, drain your body of fluids in a tub ((mix fluids with bleach and let them soak before draining and take precautions to keep your house from smelling like death from your sink and whatnot. Draining the body also keeps decomp at bay a bit and makes it easier to portion)) and cut it to bits. It’s easier to bury a head than a whole body, and takes less time so you don’t have to tell your neighbors, “Oh, I’m night gardening!”

Also, if a dog happens across it, it’s more likely it will devour a single body part than all of your ex-husband.

Another method is to put it into a septic tank. They’re a plethora of bacteria, and the smell of waste covers the smell of decomposition very well.



You should also destroy all teeth, massacre the face and burn fingerprints/remove finger tips to keep from identifying by anything other than DNA.

…I didn’t come up with these ideas, just what I’ve gleaned from reading on the internet.

i used to joke about Tumblr teaching us how to get away with murder, but fuck, man

the thing is when i see this i want to go kill a man just because i have the knowledge

thanks tumblr

Remember when you’re at the crime scene to wipe down all surfaces and then take the victims hands and touch things with them. Pick up cups and run the hands along table tops. A room with zero fingerprints is very suspicious.

If you live near the ocean you can drain the body and cut up the cadaver into small pieces then mix it all together with fish parts and dispose of it easily by pretending to chum the water for fish and sharks. Actually do chum the water a bit before dumping in your victim to be sure there are plenty of hungry fish around. Stick around and fish for a while so anyone who happens to see you won’t get suspicious. This way you don’t have any body parts lying around waiting to be dug up and identified. Plus you might catch a marlin or something.

PLUS YOU MIGHT CATCH A MARLIN

I AFDGFHGKJHKHGFDSF I AM DONE

Don’t forget that the chances of being caught are greatly reduced if you murder someone who has no connection to you at all. Most murderers end up killing someone they know in some fashion, so they’re easily caught. Serial killers kill at random, hence why they can kill a lot before they screw up.

I am not a serial killer, honest.

I am seriously concerned for all of you

please don’t judge me for tagging this for future reference, IT’S FOR PURELY FICTIONAL PURPOSES OK

I’M PRETTY SURE THE NEXT TIME I SEE THIS POST, ADVICE ON BURYING BODIES WILL ADD UP UNTIL IT SUFFICES TO BE COMPILED AS A HANDBOOK

How to kill a bitch: a guide by tumblr

skyloxuniiverse:

bluetiesandflannelshirts:

maria-ruta:

hamburgergod:

maria-ruta:

schottishy:

m-i-y-u-k-i-nyaa:

daitoshi:

all-canadian-striderp:

cheese3d:

cheese3d:

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anyone please ask your crush out like this

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The thrilling answer

no they need to kiss out behind the school!!!!

oops my hand slipped

nexttttt pleaseee :D

Come on guys add on to this tumblr needs this to be a comic series

I was asked for doing this, so I did

BAM!

I’m out of ideas! XD

next?

THIS IS TOO CUTE I CAN’T LEAVE IT ALONE I’M SORRY

OHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDD!!!!!!!

LOOOK ATT THIIIIS!!!!

LOOOOK ATTT THIIIISS!!!!

80

NEEEXT!!!!!

IT HAD TO BE DONE:

THIS IS THE CUTEST THING EVER

teenagedisney:

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

we-are-all-secretly-dead:

I AM FUMING. EVERYONE PLEASE READ AND REBLOG. I’m BEGGING.

So as some of you may know, we’ve had my cat for nearly 15 years and today he had to be put down because he had liver failure and he had ulcers all in his mouth down his throat. My cat has ALWAYS been a healthy cat, no matter how old he got, the other day my mum bought some flea drops for him and shortly after his fur went all matted, he stopped eating (now this was a huge thing because my cat is the greediest cat ever) and he couldn’t walk properly, we thought it was old age. My mum spoke to her boyfriend and he asked if it was called ‘bob martins’ and my mum was like ‘yeah why?’ he then broke the news too her that people have tried too get this off the markets, including vets as it has been known too kill cats - so then we looked into it http://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/house-garden-194/garden-plants-animals-610/253198-bob-martin-spot-flea-treatment-cats-all.html

http://www.ebay.co.uk/gds/BOB-MARTIN-CAT-SPOT-ON-KILLS-THE-CATS-BEFORE-THE-FLEAS-/10000000013411439/g.html

here are just two of the links of people saying that their cats and people’s cats they know had died off it, apparently it burns through them, so then me and my sister figured it out, he’d been licking his fur too get it better and the stuff he’d been licking had been burning his mouth therefore giving him the ulcers and liver failure 

me and my family are all in tears. he was in our lives for so long and he NEVER harmed anyone, I am begging EVERYONE to reblog and sign this petition http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/say_no_to_bob_martins/ please get justice for our cat and could everyone please join this too and write how disgusting this is https://www.facebook.com/groups/bobmartinawareness/

He literally meant the world too all of us. 

I will be forever in your debt, thankyou so much.

I will reblog this till it had 100,000 notes

SIGNAL BOOST

Cat owners especially take a look

surround-sound-sugar-skulls:

onion-monkey:

brispeak:

soveryanon:

soveryanon:

azesdrftghjnkghjd no, you don’t understand, Kojirō is such a sweetie and Haruka is such a sweetie that they could trust each other about their Pokémon needing rest……………..

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James is such a sweetheart it’s ridiculous.

James is the best pokémon trainer ever. He asks if his pokémon WANTS to join him.

I want the pokemon games to have a James option where you can decide  to ask a pokemon if they want to join your party.. it should be an option you can only pick at the start and if they say no you let them go and leave them alone

the-spooky-italians:

the-writing-jellyfish:

spoopycecilos:

jesus this line to your blog is terribly long and annoying

IT’S FUCKING TRANSPARENT. WHY?

the hetalia fandom goes hard, even when it’s not neccessary

g
We assume others show love the same way we do — and if they don’t, we worry it’s not there.

(via paulwes)

Everyone has their own love language. That’s one of the most important lessons I’ve ever learned.

(via pleasedontcallmelhead)